right on the mark

Im tired. just tired. if i had to sum up everything, it would = tired. i am tired of everything. and i am tired of feeling tired.

Similes: worn out, eghausted. to the point of breaking.

definition of above:   Jesse

any help wont help me. so dont try to help. and that is the worst feeling in the world. when nothing can help you.

so go ahead. judge me, i know you want to. seems l ike everybody does. even when they dont realize what they are judging. but you have a right to your opinion, even though it won't come near to what the truth is. good luck

Currently Listening Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield Wild Horses see related

Have you ever felt that at that one point where all u need is space, is when u feel the most smothered? smothered by questions, concerns, accusations, statements, lies, hurt,.....the things that u need space from are all crashing in on u at once? and something keeps you dependent on those things... u want to run away, but to survive, you have to use them as a crutch? you never have a moment of alone time, because somethings are afraid that u will hurt without them around... hurt yourself, hurt others, hurt them. so instead of letting you grow, they drown you. drown you with hypocritcal care. care that is only there to keep you from knowing yourself... your true self. because through heartache, trials, suffering, pain... is when God brings us through, and grows us into the being he has formed us to be. to be your self. but you can't find yourself, God can't reveal himself through you if you dont know who you are. If others question your reasons also. those things fear you knowing yourself.. Fear you feeling the fear, the pain, the hurt, the trials, the suffering. and these things aren't as visual as you would suspect them to be. some may suspect that they come in the form of physical matter, but in most cases they come from the inner side of your being. Yet you can't experience them cause you can't find them. What keeps you from finding the things that make u grow, the things that reveal yourself to you, might you ask? why simply, Yourself. you see, not only do you not let yourself know yourself, but you also hide from others. Not physically just you, by hte choices you make to believe, to trust, to care, but to also hurt. the decisions. You see if i really wanted to run away from those things, then i can throw that "crutch" down and spring off, but if i wasn't afraid of knowing myself, i would. So i meekly crutch away .... with that hypocritical care, that i so unwillingly take. I could refuse it, but once again, i make that choice to accept it. I dont want to hinder, i dont want to be a problem. i Just agree. because its the easiest... but is it really? is it the easiest, to refuse the fact u have problems just so u dont have to put up a fight rather then buck up and fight it so it will be over? you know why no one wants to fight that invisible battle? cuz that means you really want to know who you are. You really care enough to find out. and that's the actual problem.

lighters are only temporary, but real fire comes from above

Emotion is hypocricy.

emotion is our heart screaming something againest our minds.

Emotion fights against all we know.

Emotion can't be bargained with. it can't be denied.

Emotion leads us to believe one thing, when it acts another way.

Emotion can't be rationalized.

Emotion is shallow. its a quick way to act impulsive.

Emotion is worhtless. nothing good comes from it except more confusion.

Emotion is incapable of understanding our souls.

Emotion is fake.

you may think that if we don't have Emotions, then we would just be blank, wiht nothing in us. but you see if we are Emotional, then we are not of it, but act like it. Joy is not an emotion, Love is not an emotion. Joy is not something you act, Love is not something you act. JOy is something you are. Love is something you are.  you see emotion is only a small piece of it. emotion is like a  lighter to a candle. It may be something that starts the flame, but its not the wick that holds it. Its not wick that is consumed by it, and soon burns with it. It only starts it. So without a lighter, can we have a flame, you may ask? but you see, someone has to flick that lighter to get the flame. does someone else always spark the emotion in us? so the real question is, do you want someone to start your flame with a lighter  or do you want the flame to come from the direct maker of all light, of all fire? of all Joy and of all love?  

random thoughts of an obvious tree hugger

sometimes i feel like, if i slip away into the simpicity of God's love, then he will conquer my problems.

yet sometimes i feel like he is the problem. no matter what I do, it seems like God is in the way. God is in the way of my journey to obey.

so i get a good grip on the chords wrapped around my ankles... pulling hard to release myself from the tangle my impatience has made. 

i get my strength from the lord, yet all of a sudden my arms go limp. for then it feels as if i faid. faid into the greyness that this world has taught me to be.

for if i am a bright green, they condemn me to be leaf.

yet if i am a brown, i must be a stick.

all i want to do is belive. believe that if i want not to be that of a color that they are sure they know what it may be, that i myself may be what i want to be. not have to be put into a shell of what they know is for certain. but to change day to day from an animal to a plant to a mountain. w/e at that moment may come upon me, that i can form myself to be of that beautiful creation. fore if i can become of what he wants of me, instead of tryin to force myself ot accept it. that is true growth; to change drastically, that not even you may realize that i have changed my being.